開(kāi)眼了，雅思考官眼中的七分作文長(zhǎng)這樣

原來(lái)，在考官眼中的作文長(zhǎng)這樣......

作文題目：Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities。

學(xué)生作文：

Nowadays, it is obvious that the congestion in nearly all over the world in most countries is on the increase and cities are becoming busier. In my opinion, this problem must be tackled because it is a global issue and most of people most people, especially who live especially those who live in big cities, are suffering from that。

One of the main reasons which causes the traffic jam causes of traffic jam/reasons for traffic jam is that the majority of people prefer using their own cars instead of public transportation. However, it is not impossible to find good and effective ways to control the congestion. Public transportation is the easiest way to solve this trouble problem. If there are comfortable and cheap public transportations is comfortable and cheap public transportation such as trains and buses, they will make people like to use them better than drive people will choose to use it rather than drive. For instance, in Manchester, Stagecoach buses are the most convenient buses that help the city to have comfortable life in its to reduce the traffic on roads and streets during rush hours. In fact, governments should provide much better public transportation and charge prices that are affordable for everyone。

Another solution to solve that the traffic problems to charge the a congestion fee for every car that will go into a city centre. It will This will either discourage people from driving into that area, or raise more money for public transportation. A good example of this situation is London, which now has a congestion charge. Going to the city centre in London costs about ￡8 per day。

In conclusion, the problem of traffic congestion can be tackled by improving public transportation and by charging drivers who enter city centres。

以上是學(xué)生寫的原文，下面是雅思考官老師的評(píng)語(yǔ)：

Good introduction: you introduce the topic and answer the question in a simple way。

不錯(cuò)的開(kāi)頭：對(duì)話題做了介紹，并簡(jiǎn)單回答了問(wèn)題。

You give 2 solutions which are organised in 2 good paragraphs. Each paragraph develops the main point well. Good examples for each point。

將2個(gè)解決方案分別寫在1個(gè)不錯(cuò)的段落里。每個(gè)段落都較好的闡明主要觀點(diǎn)。為每個(gè)觀點(diǎn)都舉了較好的例子。

Ideas are well-linked and developed logically。

思路連貫、有邏輯。

You use some 'band 7' vocabulary e.g. on the increase, tackle a problem, prices that are affordable, discourage people, raise money, congestion charge。

使用了一些"7分詞匯"，如on the increase, tackle a problem, prices that are affordable, discourage people, raise money, congestion charge。

Excellent conclusion to summarise the ideas。

結(jié)尾對(duì)想法做了優(yōu)秀的總結(jié)。

The essay could be improved by reducing the number of small mistakes. However, there are several sentences that contain no mistakes at all。

減少一些小錯(cuò)誤能讓這篇文章變得更好。但也有一些句子完全沒(méi)有問(wèn)題。